Do you have an Xmas office party or event coming up?
FIVE TIPS FOR TAKING THE STRESS OUT OF XMAS for Autistic and Neurodivergent employees.
It’s that time of year when you might be getting ready for your work Xmas party or event! For some this may evoke a sense of joy, fun and light heartedness but for many autistic and neurodivergent employees a social event can trigger huge anxiety and stress which may then overshadow the whole season.
Xmas work parties and events can take many forms. Why might the following increase stress and anxiety for an autistic or neurodivergent employee?
- Xmas jumper day
- Office Xmas buffet lunch
- Secret Santa
- A meal out at a popular restaurant
- Drinks at a popular venue
- A team event based around an activity in a new venue
- A team away day followed by a party
- A big corporate Xmas party at a large venue
- A black-tie event
Many autistic and neurodivergent employees will experience sensory, communication, information processing and thinking style differences. Here are a few examples of how some of the above Xmas events can be experienced:
Xmas jumper day
“I forced myself to wear an Xmas jumper but it was a sensory nightmare, I could feel the wool seeping through my base layer. I couldn’t concentrate at work all day. It was like insects were crawling all over my skin. I didn’t sleep that night and had to take the next day off work.”
Secret Santa
“They do Secret Santa every year at my workplace, I absolutely dread it. The pressure to make the right choice or decision about a gift for someone. I worry about making the wrong decision, buying something they won’t like, then feeling like I’ve failed. I spend hours afterwards analysing the persons reaction to my gift, going over every small detail, their facial expression, what they said or didn’t say. I then re-enact the whole experience in my mind comparing it to other people’s gifts until I’m just exhausted! At this point I feel terrible.”
The team event
“This year the managers have planned a trip to an event which involves us meeting at a new venue and spending the day baking together. I struggle with change so going to a new place I am likely to get lost and my anxiety will go up. I find being in groups difficult, not knowing what to say, too many people talking at once is overstimulating and I know I will freeze. Then there’s the smells and touch of the foods they might be baking. I am likely to have a meltdown so it’s probably best I take a day off sick so I don’t embarrass myself.”
The big night out
“Last year all the different parts of the company were invited to a big corporate event which was at a large venue in London. They do this every year, we are all supposed to go, to be seen and to network with colleagues. I usually end up sitting in the toilet for most of the event just trying to cope, or I drink too much to numb out the sensory overload. One year I passed out on the toilet floor – not great.”
The meal at a busy restaurant
“There’s always a meal out at Xmas, usually in a busy restaurant where we are all packed round a table. I experience sensory hypersensitivities which is a nightmare in social spaces. Bright lights, loud music, lots of people talking at once, people looking directly at you, bumping into you and asking you lots of questions. I try hard to fit in and pretend I’m ok, but inside it’s mounting up. Last year, when it became too distressing I just stood up, excused myself half way through the meal and said I felt unwell. I virtually ran out of the building. They are doing the same thing this year. I don’t want to stand out or look odd. It’s probably best if I just give it a miss.”
Five tips for taking the stress out of Xmas for autistic and neurodivergent employees
- Be aware that many autistic and neurodivergent people experience sensory sensitivities. This means that large office gatherings, parties or social events where there are lots of people, bright lights, increased sound and the pressure to interact with multiple people may be experienced as overstimulating.
- Collaborate with your neurodivergent workforce and ask them what they would prefer to do as a gift from your organisation at Xmas. They may have a hobby, special interest or activity that they would like to do instead or somewhere that they would prefer to go to with just one other person rather than a whole group. For example, they may know a café with quiet seating spaces and a preferred menu (with foods they like) where they could go for a quiet lunch.
- Make it clear that Xmas events aren’t compulsory and that they do not have to attend if they don’t want to. Many autistic and neurodivergent people dislike change and find new situations increase anxiety due to the uncertainty and unpredictability that can come with new places, a change of routine and feeling out of control. For some employees continuing to work so there isn’t a change in their routine may be the preferred option.
- You can also offer the option to take the time off (in advance) so they can do something that they enjoy.
- Rethink Secret Santa. The stress associated with the uncertainty, the decision making and not knowing whether their gift will be well received sets up an uneven playing field for your neurodivergent workforce. If you do want to offer gifts, providing tangible options and examples of the types of gifts that could be purchased (written down) can reduce the anxiety associated with uncertainty and decision making.
Perhaps one of the most meaningful and powerful things organisations can do is to increase their awareness of the inside out lived experience of autistic and neurodivergent people so they can then make those adjustments that are most helpful.
What other sensory friendly and interest-based ideas might your neurodivergent workforce have for celebrating Xmas at work?
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